


The Wayward Son

by cynatnite



Category: Marvel (Movies)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Committed Relationship, Heavy Angst, Kidnapping, M/M, forced drug addiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-11
Updated: 2014-04-12
Packaged: 2018-01-19 00:38:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 17,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1448830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cynatnite/pseuds/cynatnite
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Phil Coulson's son, Matt, refuses to accept Clint Barton and goes to extreme measures to force him out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

When Phil Coulson entered his office, he was pleased to see his 16-year-old son Matthew sitting on the sofa. The boy had his dark hair, but with his mother’s light complexion it appeared the brown was richer. He had definitely inherited his mother’s cobalt colored eyes. He walked around to sit and opened the top drawer.

“I have a surprise,” Phil told him.

“What?” Matt looked up from his iPhone. When he saw the three tickets in his father’s hand, he got to his feet. “What’s that?

“Three courtsides for this weekend at the Nicks’ home game,” Phil answered.

When he saw Matt whoop with excitement, he grinned. “I thought the three of us would take a night out for dinner, go to the game and see what other trouble we could get into after the game.”

“I can’t believe it! This is great, Dad!” Matt realized he said three and the excitement slowly left. “Clint, too?”

“Sure, Clint, too,” Phil answered. “I haven’t told him, yet, but he’ll be as excited as you are.”

“Sure, Dad.” Matt nodded and took a seat back on the couch. This was not going to work. “Do you think I could tell him?”

Phil was pleasantly surprised. He knew Matthew had never fully gotten over the divorce from his mother several years ago and maybe this was what they needed to become closer as a family. “Sure. He won’t be back until tomorrow night. He’d love the surprise if it came from you.”

Matt nodded. He sure would.

~*~

Yawning, Clint was ready for home, a shower, a beer and Phil. Well, maybe Phil first, he thought with a smirk. He had certainly missed his live-in since the trip to Southeast Asia. If he slept on another flea-infest cot he was going to start becoming attracted to dogs. After every mission he was always eager to return to the home he had shared with Phil for the past two years.

Once home in the Cape Cod house, Clint set his luggage aside and headed for the kitchen. He pulled out a beer, took note of the dirty dishes from the night before and flipped open his phone. He dialed Phil.

“Hey, boss.”

“Good, you’re home.”

Clint knew he was smiling on the other end and he did as well. “Just got here. I wanted a shower first thing and I thought I’d make us all dinner.”

“Is Matt there?”

“I haven’t seen him yet. He’s probably in his room. Want me to check?”

“When we’re done. I might be a little late. Fury’s got me on budgetary meetings.”

“Budgetary? Why not Ops?”

“Because Fury hates budgetary meetings and he will do anything to get out of them including begging.”

“I’d pay to see that,” Clint smirked.

“You will. I made him stay on his knees until I took a picture. Future blackmail material.”

“You are always thinking ahead, Agent Coulson.”

“Right now, I’m thinking of you and me in bed tonight.”

“Don’t worry, I’ve got enough ideas to keep us busy for the next two weeks. I’ve got a local Op with a gun operation in the city.”

“Home every night. We’ll almost feel like a normal couple.”

“Just try not to be too late, honey,” Clint joked. “I’ll see you tonight.”

“Love you.”

“You, too, babe.”

Clint hung up the phone pleased that he would finally be home for a while. He had spent too much time away from home and he knew how important it was for Phil for the three of them to bond as a family. It hadn't been easy on the boy since his mother left the country leaving him with his father. In addition to a painful divorce, an absent mother, Clint was introduced a few years later. The upheaval had been difficult for the boy, and Phil seemed satisfied that Matt had adjusted.

There were times when  Clint was sure he saw hatred in the kid's eyes and he did everything he could to wipe that away. He wasn't giving up on the kid. Clint wanted Phil's son to not only accept him in his father's life, but also in his own life as well. He and Matt needed a solid relationship whether it was friendship or as a stepson of sorts. He hoped this was another step in doing just that. 

When Clint got to Matt’s door, heard the loud rap music and knocked. “Hey, Matt. It’s Clint.”

The door came open and Matt leaned against the frame. “Yeah.”

“Help me in the kitchen. Come on.”

Clint turned to leave and expected him to follow. He turned back and saw the reluctant teen trailing him.

When they got to the kitchen, Matthew opened the dishwasher and took a glass from the sink. He glanced at Clint.

“How long are you home for this time?”

“Couple of weeks.” Clint started some hot water. “My next mission’s keeping me close by.”

“Oh.” Then Matthew had a thought. “Have you talked to Dad?”

“Yeah, a little while ago. He’ll be a little late tonight.”

“He’s been working a lot of late nights.” Matthew put in a few more dishes. “We made plans for Friday night.”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” Matthew watched Clint out of the corner of his eye. “He got tickets for us at the Nicks game.”

Clint kept his jealousy intact. He knew it was silly, but he would have loved to have gone with the two of them. “That’s great.”

“Listen, man,” Matthew said as he straightened. “It’s just that he’s been working a lot and I don’t think he thought you’d be here. It’s important, you know.”

“Hey, I know.” Clint started scrubbing on the pot. “I’ll keep busy while you two do your thing.”

“I don’t want him to feel bad, you know, if you’re here.”

“It’s all good.”

“What I’m asking is if he says anything that you tell him you’ve got plans or something. I know this is a big favor.”

“Matt, I can’t lie to your father.”

_Damn it_ , Matt realized. He hadn’t thought about that. “Well, actually I was hoping to invite someone.”

“Someone?”

“It’s a girl from school. I asked her to come and she actually said yes.”

“A girl.” Clint grinned a little. He wondered what Dad would say about his kid having a girlfriend. “You think it’ll be better with your Dad there?”

“At least it won’t be her dad.”

“Point taken.” Clint sighed. “I’ll take care of it with your Dad. Got it?”

“Thanks, Clint.” Matthew breathed a sigh of relief. Step one complete.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt won't be deterred in pushing Clint as far away from his father as possible.

When Clint stripped off the last of his clothes, he scooted in close to Phil and spooned behind him. 

“You feel good,” Clint murmured as he ran his hands over Phil’s skin. 

“So do you,” Phil sighed. “Dinner was delicious. You certainly outdid yourself tonight.”

“Thanks to Matt. The kid’s got a gift in the kitchen.” Clint leaned in and kissed Phil on the neck. “I’ve missed you.”

“Me, too.”

The questions on Clint’s mind were quickly forgotten as Phil rolled into him. They pulled each other closer and the remainder of the night was spent with the outside world forgotten. 

~*~

The next morning, Clint was up bright and early with Phil in the kitchen. Matthew was still sleeping and wasn’t due to be up for another half an hour. 

Clint handed him a cup of coffee. “Here you go. Strong, just like you wanted.”

“Thanks. These idiotic meetings call for it.”

“Hey, I forgot to tell you that Nat and I made plans for tonight.”

“Tonight?” Phil set his cup down. “I’ll be out of the office early tonight for a change.”

“Is it a problem?”

“Well, I was hoping the three of us spent the evening together. Didn’t Matt tell you about the game?”

“Phil, Matt wants to bring a girl.”

“What?” Phil couldn’t believe that Matt didn’t say a word when they had first discussed it.

“He asked a girl and she said yes,” Clint said with a shrug. “Don’t you remember how stupid you were with hormones at that age?”

“I guess. I was hoping we could spend the evening together.”

“It’s okay.”

“Well, you can meet us for dinner before the game. Since it won’t be just the three of us go ahead and bring Nat. She hasn’t seen him in a few months.”

“You got it.”

Phil gave Clint a thorough kissing and pulled back. He loved the breathless look on his boyfriend’s face. “I’ll find us a teenage acceptable restaurant.”

~*~

It was nearly time to leave and Phil has just changed out of his suit into more casualwear for the evening activities. He had barely found time to track down a decent eating establishment when Matthew arrived with a buddy from school, Eric. 

Phil’s eyes went from one to the other. “Eric, could you wait outside a sec?”

“Sure, Mr. Coulson.”

When they were alone, Phil asked Matt,” I thought you invited a girl.”

“She had to cancel. Something about a sick aunt. I figured since Clint already had plans, I’d invite Eric. Is that okay?” It was only half true. Michelle had turned him down flat and Matt’s pride had taken a hit.

“You should’ve let me know.” Phil got out his cellphone and texted Clint. “We could’ve had Clint join us for the game.”

“Sorry.” Matt’s eyes went to the phone. “Hey, Dad. Can I borrow your phone? My battery is dead.”

“Sure. Don’t take too long. I made reservations and I don’t want us late for tipoff.”

When Matt was sure that his father wasn’t looking, he sent a second text to Clint. This one stated that there was a reservation mistake and they would be going straight to the game. They’d see him at home. Then Matt took it a step further. He placed a block on Clint’s number. Matt hoped that he could get his father’s phone back to remove the block later. As they left the office, Matt made sure his own phone was off. He grinned as he caught up with his father. He had every intention of having a great time.

~*~

It was at the end of the game when they were leaving that Matt asked again to borrow his father’s phone. 

“I’m headed to the bathroom, Dad. Come on, Eric.”

Once there, Matt removed the block on the phone and watched the screen. 

“What are you doing?” Eric asked. 

“Just making sure that there are no surprises,” Matt read through a few of the messages from Clint. He deleted a few and continued. Something caught his attention, but he kept it to himself. He might need that information for later. “I’ve got to keep my own ass out of the fire.”

“By making sure Clint stays out of the way.”

“Yep. If I had my way about it, he’d stay gone. That asshole’s the reason Mom and Dad divorced.”

“I didn’t think he was a bad guy. Remember when he got us pizza and let us watch Saw III. Your Dad was pissed.”

Matt had to admit that once in a while Clint had his good moments, but it wouldn’t make up for the pain he caused in his own life. “He’s such a wannabe. Thinks he’s all Mr. Tough Guy like he’s fucking Rambo or something.”

Eric shrugged his shoulders. “You get caught and your Dad will be pissed, Matt.”

“That’s what I’m doing. Making sure I won’t get caught.”

When Matt finished, they headed out and caught up to Phil at the car. He could see the tightness in his Dad’s face and knew the reason for it. 

“Are you mad?”

“No.”

“I’d be mad.”

“He had a good reason for not being at dinner.”

“He didn’t text you?” Matt knew he was being a jerk, but didn’t care. He wanted to prove to his dad that Clint was worthless and not deserving of his love and devotion. 

“I’ll talk to him when we get home, son. Don’t worry. Everything’s okay.”

Matt lowered his eyes. He felt a little guilty, but it would all be worth it in the end. He was sure of it. 

~*~

When they walked through the door, Phil was surprised to see Clint on the couch with a book, He had expected something wrong. 

“Hey, how was the game?” Clint asked. 

“It was fine. We missed you at dinner?” Phil went to him, leaned down and gave him a kiss. “What happened?”

“I thought there was a reservation mix-up.” Clint was just as confused. He knew exactly what Phil’s text had said. There was no mistaking the message. 

“We waited as long as we could.” Phil slide off his jacket and hung it in the closet.

Clint caught sight of Matt headed to his bedroom and heard the closing of the door. His gut began a slow twisting knot and he needed a deep breath to steady himself. 

“I must’ve misunderstood,” Clint heard himself saying. “I’m sorry.”

Phil eased in next to him and pulled Clint close. “You can make it up by moving in close and staying next to me the rest of the night.”

“Always glad for that kind of making up,” Clint grinned. He leaned in and sighed enjoying the closeness. He probably would have enjoyed it a lot more were it not for the rotting feeling beginning to grow in his stomach. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt's animosity towards Clint causes problems between the couple.

The SHIELD gym was always one of the more relaxing places for Clint. He could work out the way he preferred and not have to worry about holding back. His workouts were always more strenuous than the average and whenever both he and Nat were in town together, they made a point of hitting the gym together.

She was the only one he could spar with comfortably because he didn’t have to hold back and neither did she. It was mostly due to the fact that she was more skilled in hand-to-hand and he could take a lot of what she dished out. There were few he gave that level of trust to and her vice versa.

After a rough sparring session, Clint headed to the weights and started some lifting. He caught Nat strolling over with a bottle of water in hand.

“What’s on your mind?” Clint asked as he adjusted the weight machine.

“You never told Coulson about the other night?”

“Nope.”

“Why not?” Nat straddled a bench and leaned forward.

Clint sat and laid back. “For one thing, Matt could talk his way out of it easy enough. Even on my worst days at that age, I could talk a line. An innocent kid face can take you far.”

“If you showed Coulson the texts you sent him and the one you got, he’d believe you.”

Clint gripped the bar and took a deep breath. “Maybe. It would also make the situation a hell of a lot worse at home. I’m not going to be the cause of problems between Phil and his son.”

“It’s about Matt lying and manipulating the situation to keep you away, Clint.”

With a frustrated sigh, Clint sat up and looked at Natasha. “Nat, the kid’s parents split up and then a boyfriend is taking his mom’s place because life in Europe suited her better than raising her kid. He’s allowed to act out once in a while.”

“You’re making excuses for him.”

“No, I’ve been his age.”

“You’re more teddy bear than assassin these days.”

“Gee, thanks.” Clint lay back down and began his reps. After a few he stopped and looked at Nat. “If he pulls another stunt, I’ll talk to Phil. Satisfied?”

“Somewhat,” Natasha replied with one sided smirk. “Promise me one thing, though.”

“Yeah, what’s that?” Clint lifted the weight.

“Talk to Matt about it.”

“I suppose I should let him know I’m not his enemy. Maybe we can be friends.”

“Sure, that could work.”

Clint rested the weight in the rack again and looked at Natasha. “That’s not what you had in mind?”

“Of course not. He needs to know you’re on to him.”

Shaking his head, Clint grabbed the weight once again. “When will you stop being so fucking tactical?”

“When you stop being so fucking gullible. Inside that teenage body is someone who takes after his SHIELD agent father, Clint.”

“I’ll talk to him. Go away and let me finish.”

Clint continued exercising and made a mental promise to make sure Matt knew he wasn’t the bad guy. He was determined to keep the situation from hurting Phil.

~*~

There were two things nice about this particular mission. It was a protracted case which meant he could count on being home much more than in most of his previous missions. Secondly, he was with Phil. Nothing could beat that by a long shot and Clint couldn’t be happier.

As he worked on dinner, he wondered if this was what a normal family life was like. His own was as dysfunctional as anyone could expect. Physical abuse and alcoholism was the norm. Making the step with Phil into a family life was a big one and once here, he couldn’t imagine being happier despite having a sullen teenager around the house.

“Hey, Matt!” Clint hollered. He was stirring the sauce intent on making the best lasagna known to mankind. Jarvis had sworn it was the top rated recipe on the planet given that it had been shared and top rated over two million times across the internet.

“What?” Matt slumped at the table with his iPhone and one bud inserted in his right ear.

“Why don’t you help me with dinner? This lasagna’s going to make history tonight.”

“Can’t. Got a geometry exam tomorrow. If I don’t pass it, Dad will see a fat D on my report card.”

“Got it.” Clint lowered the heat on the sauce and turned around. “I wanted to talk to you about something.”

Matt played with his phone and didn’t set it down until Clint had walked to the table and sat across from him.

“What?”

“Did I piss you off about anything?”

“Nope.”

“Well, I’m just wondering because I think you probably wanted it to be just you and your dad at the basketball game…without me.”

Matt just shrugged his shoulders and began playing with his phone once again. “You still weren’t there.”

That was a wrong tactic, Clint realized. “Well, that’s not important. I want you to know that if you ever need a friend, I’m here. You can talk to me about anything.”

“I can talk to my Dad, too,” Matt responded without looking up.

Clint leaned forward and put his hand on Matt’s. “Sure you can, but if you ever feel like you can’t talk to your Dad, I’m here, too.”

That was when Matt jerked away and stood. “I don’t keep anything from my father!”

After he stormed off, Clint leaned back and sighed. “Way to go, Barton.”

~*~

It was late in the evening when Clint was removing his shirt and Phil was looking through the dresser. Clint’s mind was still on the disastrous attempt with Matt and he had kept much to himself. He was sure Matt was pleased with the way he was talking to Phil through dinner.

“What’s wrong?” Phil asked.

“Nothing.” Clint sat on the edge of the bed and kicked off his shoe. “I’ve had a lot on my mind lately.”

“The mission?”

“Sure.” _That’s as good of an excuse as any,_ Clint thought.

“I thought you and Natasha said it was fairly straightforward.”

“It is.”

Phil crossed the room and sat next to Clint. “We need a night out to ourselves, just you and me.”

“That sounds great.” Clint was more than ready for some alone time with Phil.

“Nick’s got a cabin that I’m sure he’ll let us use for the weekend.”

Clint smiled a little. “You trust Matt here alone for an entire weekend?”

“We can probably convince either Nick or Natasha to look after him while we’re gone.” Phil leaned in and nuzzled Clint’s neck. “What do you think?”

“That’s more than a night, boss.” Clint sighed into the sensations that Phil was arousing. He was pushed to his back and Phil was kissing his chest. Clint closed his eyes and ran his hand along Phil’s neck.

“It certainly is.” Phil worked his way to Clint’s jeans and unbuttoned them. Then he pulled apart as the zipper slowly came undone. When he licked near the groin, he smiled at Clint’s growl.

The sensual magic disappeared at the sound of a knock at their door.

“Shit.” Clint took a deep breath and sat up.

“What is it?” Phil hollered.

“Dad?”

“Yeah, son.”

When the door opened, Clint stood and turned away from Matt. No way was that kid seeing his thick arousal. It would take a few minutes for it to subside…he hoped.

Matt eased the door open. “Listen, I had a question. Is it okay?”

“What is it?”

“I was wondering about borrowing the car.”

“Why didn’t you ask earlier?” Phil asked.

“I forgot. I want to pick up Michelle and take her to the mall this weekend.”

“What about your geometry exam?” Clint asked. “You said you had to ace it.”

Matt nearly yelled that it wasn’t any of Clint’s business and watched his father instead. “Is it okay, Dad?”

“Clint’s right. What about geometry?”

“By then I’ll be done. I promise.”

“I don’t see any reason why not,” Phil answered. “Just make sure you pass that exam.”

“Thanks, Dad. I will.” Matt stepped into the room a few steps. “You know, maybe we should talk about me having a car so I won’t be asking so much.”

Phil grinned and shook his head. “Maybe we will. Have a good night.”

“Night.”

After he was gone, Clint slipped off his jeans and sat on his side of the bed. “Are you seriously thinking about getting him a car?”

“I don’t see why not. I had a car at his age.”

“You were also more responsible than your parents and they were both lawyers. To hear your sister tell it, you were born that way. You never broke curfew your entire life.”

“Matt’s pretty good. I think he’d be fine.”

“Phil, he’s failing two classes. He’s looking at a D in geometry if he doesn’t do well on that exam.”

“He said he’d pass it. You don’t think he should get a car?”

“I think he’s a little young. It probably wouldn’t hurt for him to prove he’s responsible first.”

“You don’t trust him, do you?”

“Phil, I never said that. He’s still a kid.”

“And in a few years he’ll be an adult. At some point he has to be given the benefit of the doubt.”

“Sometimes if you give an inch, they’ll take a mile. It happens with a lot of them.”

“Since when are you an expert on raising a kid? You never even had a real childhood.”

“You’re right.” Clint wasn’t going to show how much that statement hurt. He stood up. “Maybe I don’t know what I’m talking about.”

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”

Clint went to the dresser and opened a drawer. He pulled out his sweats and after he put them on, he said, “I’m going to watch TV for a while.”

“Clint, please don’t be angry.”

“I’m not. This just isn’t a good topic of conversation right now.” Clint wasn’t ready to delve into the subject of his own childhood and having it compared to the current situation wasn’t something he could handle easily. The last thing he wanted to do was make the situation worse.

After he was gone, Phil debated on talking to Clint some more and changed his mind. His partner would just close off and give passive agreement to whatever he said. He hated that about Clint sometimes. They'd resolve it. Phil would make sure of it.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt's next step in attempting to evict Clint from their lives puts him on a path he can't undo.

The following morning, Phil found Clint in the kitchen making coffee. He had his tie hanging around his neck and he set his jacket on the back of a chair. 

“Clint, we need to talk.”

“Yeah, I know. About last night, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have…”

“You don’t have anything to apologize for,” Phil interrupted. “I guess I just reacted badly and I should’ve heard you out. I don’t want this to be us.”

“It’s not,” Clint assured him. He went to Phil and started adjusting his tie. “You should talk to Fury about that cabin this weekend. Cevasco isn’t making any moves for a few days. The gun shipment isn’t due yet and Nat can keep an eye on things until we get back.”

“Do you think Cevasco is going to miss his number one middle man?” Phil asked. 

“I’ve got his number on speed dial if Nat calls. We need some time to ourselves, Phil.”

“I couldn’t agree more.” When Clint was finished with his tie, Phil pulled him in for a kiss. “I love you.”

When Matt entered the kitchen, Phil stepped back. “Hey, ready for school?”

“I guess.” Matt set his backpack on the table and headed to the fridge. 

“Clint and I are taking a trip this weekend. Think you could handle hanging with your Aunt Nat for a few days?”

“She’ll cap me if I call her that,” Matt said after he took a bottle of orange juice.

“She was kidding,” Phil grinned. 

“Then you call her that.” Matt headed back to the table. “You said I could borrow the car this weekend.”

“We’ll take Clint’s jeep and the car will be here. Natasha can drop you off for the car and when we get back we’ll pick it up at her place when we get you.”

Matt hated the idea. He needed to get rid of Clint at least for the weekend. The more apart they were, the better chance he had in keeping them apart for good. He had heard just enough of the conversation and ideas were already forming in his head. 

“Isn’t there an important thing going on, Clint?” Matt asked. 

“Nothing that can’t wait,” Clint responded. He was getting that knot in his gut again. 

Phil had another idea. “How about we ask Nat to drop you off here Sunday morning. You can borrow the car and just come straight home after your trip to the mall.”

Matt watched Clint whisper something in his father’s ear and then he saw the smile. 

“How about I give you some extra money. You can take in a movie and dinner both.”

If it had come from anyone but Clint, Matt would’ve loved it. “I don’t know if Michelle wanted to make a date of it.”

“You can ask. I’m sure she’ll agree since you both had plans in the first place,” Phil offered.

“I’ll think about it,” Matt said. He had some ideas, but trying to pull off an entire weekend without Clint around would be next to impossible. 

~*~

It was when Clint had a whole day home that Matt found his opportunity. He had watched Clint head to the shed out back and then he snatched up his cell phone. Clint had let him borrow it more than once and he already knew the passcode for it. It was a simple enough matter to search through the speed dial numbers and find what he was looking for. 

He wrote down the number and headed to his laptop to research. He still needed a location to set the plan in motion. Matt wondered if he could get a more permanent solution with this idea. It was bold and he was almost positive it would work. 

Matt did another look out the window and watched Clint working on the riding lawn mower. He’d have plenty of time to make this call. 

“Cevasco Imports.”

“Is Mr. Cevasco there?” Matt’s heart was pounding hard and his mouth was dry. 

“May I ask who is calling?”

“Tell him it’s someone that knows about one of his shipments coming in a few days.”

There was a long pause and Matt was sure he heard muffled voices although he couldn’t make out what was being said. 

“Who is this?”

The voice was deep and heavily accented with Italian, Matt guessed. “I think we can help each other, Mr. Cevasco. Someone I know is trying to stop you from selling guns and I want him sent away.”

“We must meet. I will not speak to a faceless person.”

“When?”

“Tonight at midnight.”

Matt wrote down the information. There was no way he could sneak out without anyone hearing. He had tried it once with disastrous results. Both Clint and his father had heard him despite the fact he was sure he hadn’t made a sound. He’d need Eric to cover for him. 

~*~

When Matt appeared in nearly empty bar, he almost changed his mind. In the far corner were four men. Two of them were huge. Bodyguards, he surmised. Matt swallowed down his fear and moved forward. 

“Mr. Cevasco.”

“This cannot be,” Anton Cevasco smirked. He ran his hand over his slicked black hair and straightened his black tie. “A child comes to me.”

“I’m not a child,” Matt asserted. “If you’re not interested, I’m leaving.”

Anton motioned with his hand and Matt was dragged to the chair and forced to sit. 

“When someone calls me who knows too much, I will not allow them to walk away unless I am satisfied. I am not satisfied, boy. Explain yourself.”

Matt looked at the bodyguards and the man sitting next to Anton Cevasco. “I know about you and what you do.”

“What do you think you know? You’re only a child.”

He was nearly on the verge of arguing, but Matt knew better. It was too late to back out now. Matt now knew he was in way over his head. “I think I ought to go home.”

“Answer me, boy, or I will send you home in pieces.”

“You sell guns. You have a shipment coming soon.” Matt briefly wondered if this was a bad action movie, but the men looked very real and very dangerous. 

“How do you know this?”

“I heard it.”

“Speak now, boy. I grow impatient!”

“I just wanted him gone for a while…sent away long enough for Dad to forget about him.”

Anton laughed a little. “I send many people away, boy, if they are dangerous to me.” He gave a nod to his men and leaned back as Matt was jerked to his feet and roughly searched. A cell phone was taken out of his pocket and held out.

Matt watched his phone given to the man next to him who looked at him. “Unlock it.”

“1944,” Matt mumbled. 

No one spoke as Anton’s associate searched the phone. He stopped and then slid it over to Anton. Then Anton gave it back to Matt with the photo of Clint. 

“This man, who is he to you?”

Matt glanced down. It was Clint. “He’s with my Dad.”

“You are trying my patience, boy,” Anton bit out. “I will have the truth now!”

The eyes glittered with deadly promise and Matt’s heart began pounding. He was ready to run as hard as he could, but he knew they’d never let him go unless he talked. 

“He works for an agency. He’s going to arrest you for the guns. There’s someone else working with him. I don’t know who.”

“His name, boy. Now!”

Tears were starting to form in his eyes and Anton stood. Matt was brought to his feet and was surprised at how quickly Anton Cevasco had turned from cold-blooded to a supposed friend. 

“You say you want him sent away. I will send him far away, boy. His name and how I find him.”

“I-I don’t want anyone hurt.”

“You have my word, boy. Anton Cevasco never lies.”

“Clint Barton,” Matt answered in a low voice. “He takes runs at the East River Park sometimes before the sun comes up. He hasn’t gone in a few days and I think he’ll be there tomorrow. He likes it because of the sunrise reflecting on the water.”

“Good, good, boy. We will take good care of him and send him away.”

“Okay.” Matt was more scared than he had ever been in his life. He wished he had never come here, never called. His phone was handed back to him and he was sure they had gone through everything on it. 

“You speak one word of this, boy, and we will come to your home and kill your family.”

“I won’t,” Matt whispered. “I promise.”

Anton’s deep laugh frightened Matt and he pushed the boy away. “Go home now.”

As Matt hurried out of the bar he was sure he heard Anton Cevasco’s deep laugh. It remained with him the entire night never letting him close his eyes to sleep. He was that afraid. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the face of Clint's disappearance, Matt's paralyzed with fear even as he watches his father's desperate search.

When Clint had left a sleeping Phil in bed, he had loved the half smile on the man’s face. The night before had been easy-going sex that they enjoyed with a take-your-time exploration of each other’s bodies. It was one of those rare nights where they could spend half of it talking about anything and everything. Nothing was off limits. Clint loved it because he could be entirely himself . He also loved Phil even more because he got the same openness in return. 

As Clint ran along the East River, he smiled a little at the purplish orange glow reflection of the sun just before it broke the horizon. This was a favorite part of the day and he made a mental note to make sure he came out more often. 

Clint was only halfway through his run as he hit a more isolated running path. He should’ve been more aware of his surroundings and would later curse himself for not being careful. The tackle had come out of nowhere and took him down hard. Clint hit the cement hard and before he could shake the cobwebs loose, several hands were on him and that was when he began to fight. 

He was sure he got several good hits in and Clint wished he had done a better job listening to Natasha instruct him in fighting off multiple attackers. He was in a fight for his life and he was losing. 

The last thing he remembered was being carried before his world went black.

~*~

When Clint woke, he was tied to a chair and blindfolded. He tried yanking with no luck and he heard nothing for a few moments and then there was the sound of a door. 

“Come on, assholes,” Clint muttered. “Don’t keep me in suspense.”

“Let’s start with who you work for.”

The voice was disembodied and Clint turned his head to gage where they were standing. “Why don’t we start with who the fuck is asking?”

Clint got a punch to the head for that and bit down on his tongue to keep his silence. 

“Who do you work for?”

“Fuck you!”

Then the real pain began and Clint readied himself for more. He didn’t ace torture survival class at SHIELD for no reason. 

~*~

It was lunch time when Matt got the call from his father. He had just sat down with Eric when his phone rang.

“Dad, hi.”

“Matt, have you spoken to Clint? He hasn’t called and I can’t reach him.”

Matt licked his dry lips and looked down at his lunch tray. “No. Maybe he’s outside. He was working on the lawn mower the other day.”

“Maybe. Tell him to call me if you see him.”

“Sure, Dad.”

Matt hung up his phone and leaned back. The ramifications of what he had done were starting to appear. He was sure they’d knock Clint around a little and possibly send him on a long trip. Cevasco wouldn’t lie, would he?

“Hey,” Eric said. “What’s wrong with you?”

“Nothing. Want to go to a movie this weekend?” Matt wasn’t going to ask Michelle out. Another guy had already beaten him to the punch. 

~*~

Clint’s head sagged forward from the pain and he could have, he would have patted himself on the back for his resilience. Those idiotic survival courses had paid off quite well. Was sure Phil would be proud as hell. 

Problem was, Clint had no idea who it was that had him or why. He had been able to guess an approximate number of beefy types because the sizes of their fists seemed quite large. He remembered two first names, but they were vague enough that Clint couldn’t pinpoint anything distinctive about them. Maybe it was his current mission, maybe it wasn’t. 

It was when he felt them centering around him that he slowly raised his head. “I’m ready for round 3, motherfuckers. Or is it round 4. I forget.”

“You’ll forget alright,” one snickered. 

When he heard more snide laughter, Clint realized he was in trouble. 

~*~

One arm was untied and forced to straighten. He struggled as much as he could, but then a hand fisted in his hair and yanked back. When tight rubber band wrapped around his arm, Clint then fought like hell. It did little good with the amount of hands holding him still.

A needle was pushed into his vein and then a warm blanket enveloped him. He sighed as it covered his body and Clint relaxed into it. Nothing felt as beautiful or comforting as that tender warmth surrounding his mind, body and soul. It’s where he wanted to be forever. 

Four long days passed and nothing. Phil Coulson had pushed himself past the point of exhaustion in looking for Clint. He and Nat tore apart the city trying to find him. With a population in millions it made the search nearly impossible even with their extensive SHIELD resources.

Cevasco’s organization had been their first suspects in Clint’s disappearance, but searching within it was problematic at best. Natasha’s end of the sting operation was able to be completed with little problem, but without Clint’s involvement they couldn’t move on the organization without compromising the entire case. It was messy and nearly impossible with so much at stake.

~*~

At the end of the fourth day Phil sat at the kitchen table with his head resting in his hand. In front of him was Clint’s cellphone and just when the screen was about to go dark, he’d push the button. The screen was a photo of the three of them and Phil couldn’t tear his eyes away from it.

“Dad?”

Phil sat up. “Hey, you should be in bed.”

“Anything?”

“No,” Phil answered keeping his voice low. “We’ll find him.”

“I’m sorry, Dad,” Matt began to cry.

Phil stood and pulled Matt close. “It’s okay. We’ll bring him home. I won’t stop looking.”

Matt just cried feeling more helpless than ever. He was scared. They had threatened not just him, but his father, too. He held tighter to his father afraid to let go. The horror of what was happening was overwhelming and he felt lost, alone and afraid.

~*~

It was the middle of the following day and Clint was dirty, bloody and lying on the grimy floor of the basement where he had been kept. There hadn’t been a need to keep him tied any longer. The agent wasn’t in any condition to even attempt an escape. 

Anton Cevasco came forward and kneeled. He looked at his associate. “How long since he had a hit?”

“Almost six hours. He’s just barely started withdrawal.”

“Perhaps a few more hours,” Cevasco guessed. He leaned forward and roughly nudged Clint. “Who are you?”

Clint groaned and moved his head. Everything hurt. Even the light did when he opened his eyes. The blanket had been taken away and now his skin felt like hot needles with every touch. 

“Who do you work for?” Cevasco demanded. 

“Leave me alone,” Clint mumbled. 

“Of course. You will soon beg for more.”

Through the pain and haze of withdrawal, Clint tried to raise his head. “Help me. I can’t…”

Cevasco moved closer. “Who do you work for?”

“S..Shield.” Clint nearly cried. He was desperate for anything to take the pain away and bring back the warmth. He needed Phil.

“Who is this Shield?” Cevasco asked his associate. 

“I don’t know. It’s probably why his make came back clean. He’s not with any organization I’m aware of.”

“They know about us. This man is all we have to find his associates,” Anton replied. He looked at his men. “Give him another few hours. He will sell his own mother for another hit. We’ll find out who he works with.”

“And if he refuses?”

“We kill him and that boy who gave him to us.”

 


	6. Chapter 6

Phil had become a near constant in operations since Clint’s mysterious disappearance. He had agents tracking every lead no matter how unlikely they were to pan out. He sent agents to scour the entire East River waterfront. The longer they went without word, the more likely Fury would order the river dragged for a body. 

“What have you got?” Nick asked when he stopped next to Phil.

“We can’t do any more on the Cevasco mission without blowing Natasha’s cover. Clint said that they had a few days reprieve before their next meeting and he wasn’t expecting any news.”

“Romanov?”

“Cevasco got his shipment.” Phil set the computer pad down and folded his arms. “We still don’t have the inside man who’s weeding out whoever the local authorities have tried to plant in his organization.”

“We’re sure Barton was at the East River Park?”

“Two witnesses ID’d him,” Phil answered. 

“It may be random.”

“I don’t accept that, Director. Clint’s too capable to be taken by a random act of violence.”

“Normally, I’d agree. But the area is rife with gangland violence. He may have walked into something.”

“Sir, don’t call it just yet.”

“Take what you need. Romanov is off the book until Cevasco calls for another shipment. I’m not letting that mission go, Coulson.”

“Thank you, sir.”

When he left, Phil went to the large monitor and studied the area. Not for one second did he believe it was a random act of violence. Clint was taken and by someone who knew he was going to be on his run. They would have had to follow him for a lengthy time and Clint was too good of an agent with extensive experience for him not to notice a tail.

“Who knew you were going to be there?” Phil whispered.

~*~

Clint was determined to find comfort within the agony of heroin withdrawal. They had held back the drug in hopes that he would talk and all he had to do was bring forth Phil and Nat’s image and Clint could keep his mouth shut forever. He hated himself for giving up SHIELD, but he refused to give them anything more. 

They had beaten on him even more and finally, he heard whispered voices. The few words he picked up told him that his life was soon coming to an end. Words like “the point”, “current will carry him out to sea”, “another washed up junkie” were all he heard. He couldn’t make anything else out, but when they dragged him to the freight elevator Clint knew that if he didn’t make a move soon he was dead. 

They had gotten outside and Clint cowered from the bright son. It hurt his skin and eyes, but they kept a tight grip as they shoved him at the car. Clint started to slide down to the cement and he was yanked by one of the goons. Taking advantage of the closeness, Clint got his hand on the gun inside the muscle’s holster. He had only jerked it a few inches and then put bullets in the man. Clint swung around and managed to hit one of the men.

Clint ran around the car and plowed one of the men over before darting into a nearby alley. He struggled to keep his footing as he pushed himself to not stop. All he could think of was getting to Phil and Natasha. Clint managed to evade his captors and soon found himself lost in one of the worst parts of the city.

~*~

Phil rubbed his eyes as he pulled into the driveway. He had managed to put in a few hours of nap not long ago as ordered by Fury and it had helped, but he needed to be home for a little while. The toll on Matt was growing and he had never seen his son so undone. It worried him.

When he got inside, he saw Matt jump to his feet from the sofa. “Anything?”

“No.” Phil pulled off his jacket and laid it on back of the chair. “

The front door swung open and Natasha rushed inside. “We’ve got something.”

“What?” Phil asked. 

“Remember when Clint’s tracker went dark right after he disappeared?”

“You got it?” Phil asked. Hope was starting to build. 

“It looks like he was taken deep into the city, Coulson. It popped up just a few minutes ago.” Natasha held out the handheld monitor. 

“Let’s go.” Phil grabbed his jacket. “Come on, Matt. You’re coming with us.”

Phil had been worried they had followed Clint to the house. Until they sorted this mess out and had Clint home, he wasn’t going to let Matt out of his sight.

~*~

Phil drove while Natasha tracked Clint’s signal. It had taken over half an hour to get to the location, but narrowing it down to is exact position was more difficult. They had been driving close to the general area, but still did not have him in sight. 

“Turn right,” Natasha told Phil.

Matt watched his father as he did and his eyes went down an alley. He was in the back seat and scooted up as they did a slow drive down the alley. 

“Take another right. I think we’re close.”

Phil did and he got a glance at the tracking device. He stopped the car, checked his weapon and glanced at Matt. “Stay here and keep down. Understand?”

Matt nodded and leaned back. Watching his father with a gun was not something he was accustomed to. It frightened him to think that there was so much danger around them. 

As Phil crept down the alley, he kept scanning from one side to another careful not to miss a thing. He was sure Clint was here. Whether he was alive or dead was the question and Phil refused to envision that Clint was anything but alive. 

“H-help.”

It was so low that Phil nearly missed it. He halted in his steps and just on the other side of a stack of broken down cardboard boxes was a leg. He raised his gun and moved towards it. When he saw the figure lying in the alley, the wind left Phil. His heart skipped at seeing the haggard, bloodied and frail Clint lying on the ground. 

“My God.” Phil holstered his weapon and looked over his shoulder at Nat who was coming. “Natasha! Over here!”

Phil leaned in and put his hands on Clint’s arms. “It’s okay. I’ve got you.”

“Phil? God, is it you?”

“Yes, it’s me.” Phil pulled him close.

“What’s wrong with him?”

Phil leaned Clint back and he saw vacant eyes staring back at him. Dread was growing in his chest as a suspicion came alive in his mind. Phil lifted Clint’s arm and checked it. The needle marks told the story. 

“Goddamn it,” Phil bit out. He nearly cried. “Who in the hell did this to him and why?”

“They were aiming for information. Somehow he got away.”

“They’re going to be looking for him, Tasha. We can’t take him to SHIELD like this.”

“Fury’s cabin. It’s the best place.”

“Let’s go.” 

Both Natasha and Phil got Clint to his feet and helped him to the car. When Matt saw him, he froze. His eyes were wide as he gazed at the beaten man he had worked so hard to push out of their lives. 

“Matt, get in the front seat,” Phil told him. “Now!”

Phil got Clint in the backseat after Matt had moved. He crawled into the back with him while Natasha got behind the wheel and began driving. 

“What’s wrong with him?” Matt asked. He was panicking at seeing Clint’s condition.

Phil cradled Clint close. “He’ll be okay. We’re going to take care of him,” he promised. 

It wasn’t in him to put into words the torture that Clint had endured. SHIELD would have been his first choice in most circumstances, but this was something Phil was unprepared for. He couldn’t risk Clint being treated as a junkie. The only thing he was positive about was Fury. His boss would have agreed with the decision. Until Phil had the full story, the safest place was the cabin. 

~*~

Halfway to the cabin, Clint tried to open the car door and Natasha was forced to pull over. He hunched over and vomited as everyone watched. Phil remained close by and once Clint was finished they resumed their trek. 

Once there, Natasha and Phil brought Clint inside to the bed and laid him down. As Natasha wet a cloth, Phil removed Clint’s socks and shoes. He looked at Matt. 

“Take his shoes and hide them. I don’t want to know where they’re. Understand?”

“But why?” Matt asked. 

“I’ll explain later. Just do it.”

Natasha returned and began cleaning Clint’s dirtied face. “He’s got probably at least 24 hours of hell ahead of him, Coulson. You know that, don’t you?”

“Yes,” Phil answered tightly. 

“There’s a small grocery not far. We’ll need supplies.”

“We need lots of coffee, plenty of sugar and candy. Clear liquids, too,” Phil told her. 

Phil looked at Clint and saw him sleeping. It wouldn’t last long until the real agony began, but he hoped it would be a while before the hell began. Natasha left for the store and Phil covered Clint with a blanket. He went to the living room and sat down with Matt.

“The next few days are going to be the worst you’ve ever seen, Matt. Clint is not going to have an easy time of it. He needs us.”

“What’s wrong with him?”

Saying it would be the hardest thing Phil had ever done in his life. “Some people took him and when he wouldn’t tell them anything, they used heroin.”

“They addicted him.” It was something he had read about in school and it was a foreign concept to him. He had friends who casually toyed with drugs, but the rumored addicts at school were nothing like what he had witnessed when he saw Clint. “Why did I have to hide his shoes?”

“He’s going to want to leave and we can’t let him. Clint is going to say things, but he can’t help it because of what they did to him. No matter what he says, don’t listen. You look at me. Understand?” When Matt nodded, Phil pulled him close. “He’s got us and Natasha. We’re his family and we are going to help him.”

“I’m sorry, Dad.” Matt truly was, but he was frightened of everything around him. How could he tell anyone? Would Cevasco come after them? Would his father hate him? Matt continued to feel isolated and alone with no courage inside of him. 

“Clint knows we’re here.”

“What do I do?”

“When Nat gets here do you think you can make some coffee? Do you remember how?”

“Yes, I can. I can cook a little, too. Clint’s showed me.”

“That’s good.” Phil forced a smile and put a hand on Matt’s cheek. 


	7. Chapter 7

Natasha returned with an armload of groceries when a groan came from the bedroom. Phil went to the bedroom and watched as Clint began fidgeting. It was when a cramp hit, that Phil moved to him. He got in behind Clint and rested him in his lap.

He looked up when Natasha came in with a cup of coffee. Phil took it and brought it to Clint. “Here, drink this.”

Clint’s hands shook as he sipped it. “It’s s-sweet.”

“You’ll need the sugar, Clint. It’ll help ease the cramping. We’ve got juice, too, to help you stay hydrated.”

Another cramp gripped him and Clint grabbed Phil’s hand. “Fuck! It hurts, damn it!”

“I know. Just hold on. You’ll get through it.” Phil looked at Natasha. “Orange juice.”

She left and Phil pulled Clint closer. “We’re here for you, babe. You’ve got to hold on for us.”

“Goddamn it!” Clint curled his body as another spasm hit. He couldn’t hold back the groan as the pain moved through his body. “I’m sorry, sorry.”

“It’s okay. This is not your fault.” Phil ran his hands through Clint’s sweat-drenched hair. “Just remember how much I love you.”

“God, Phil!” Clint was near crying as his body convulsed. A glass was at his lips and he swallowed down the juice.

Less than half an hour later Clint was scrambling off the bed trying to get to the bathroom. He threw up everything he had just taken in and Phil and Natasha got Clint back to bed afterwards. 

“We have to keep feeding him the liquids. He’ll keep some of it in his system,” Natasha told Phil. 

“I know.” Phil rubbed Clint’s arms as another spasm rolled through. “Get some sleep. In a few hours you’re going to have to take over, Nat.”

“You know I will.” Natasha leaned down and kissed Clint on the forehead before leaving them alone. 

She went back to the kitchen and poured a cup of coffee. Her eyes went to Matt who sat at the table not saying a word. 

“You need to get some rest.”

Matt shook his head. “Not tired. I need to be awake if Dad needs me.”

They both turned when they heard Clint’s moan of pain from the bedroom. Natasha crossed the room and closed the door then she went back to Matt. 

“You’re not helping your Dad or Clint if you don’t get a meal and some rest.”

“Aunt Nat, is this the worst thing?”

“What do you mean?”

“I know you and Clint have had bad things happen to you before. Is this the worst?”

Natasha wasn’t sure how to answer that. She wouldn’t even allow herself to think about her own nightmarish life. Never had she undergone such torture as Clint had. SHIELD had trained them well, but no one had ever made them succumb to a forced addiction.

“We were never trained to…” Natasha sat across from Matt. “Yes, it’s the worst. Clint will be fighting this for a long time.”

Matt didn’t stop the tears from streaming down his cheeks. “I wish it was me.”

“I think we all wish it was us.” She reached over and took Matt’s hand in hers. “Clint will make it. He’s got us.”

Matt couldn’t speak. All he could do was hear Clint’s moaning in the next room knowing he was the reason for it. 

~*~

It was hours later when Clint finally fell into a fitful sleep. Phil knew the process was in a lull and the worst was still ahead of them. He made sure Clint was covered and left the bedroom. As he headed to the kitchen he rubbed his face. He saw Matt on the sofa and Natasha was sitting in a chair. Phil got a cup of coffee and took a seat next to her. 

“How is he?” Phil asked regarding Matt.

“I don’t know. He’s having a rough time, Coulson. We shouldn’t have brought him. He’s just a kid.”

“We don’t know who took Clint, why or how they tracked him. I couldn’t risk leaving Matt behind.”

“Once Clint gets through it I think he’ll be okay. How are you holding up?”

“I’m alive.” Phil sipped his coffee. “Clint’s probably has an hour of resting before he wakes again.”

“It’s my turn. Get some sleep and I’ll wake you in a couple of hours.”

Phil took Natasha’s hand in his. “I don’t know what we would’ve done without you.”

She smiled a little and returned the gesture. “I love you guys. I wouldn’t be anywhere else.”

~*~

When Clint opened his eyes, he had no idea where he was at or how he got here. He jerked up and saw Natasha in the corner chair. 

“What’s happening?”

Natasha got up and sat on the edge of the bed. She poured a glass of juice and handed it to Clint. “You don’t remember?”

Clint’s hand shook as he took the glass and sipped it. “I think so.”

When he started to get up, Natasha stood and carefully watched him head to the bathroom. When he finished his business, he leaned against the doorframe feeling as if his legs were ready to give out. 

“Where’s Phil?”

“Sleeping. You wore him out.”

A cramp hit and Clint landed on one knee. “Goddamn it! When will these fucking things stop?”

Natasha helped him back to bed. “You’re keeping the juice down. Consider that a plus.”

“You’re always full of fucking good news.” Clint lay across the bed and took several breaths. He knew another one was soon in coming. It was like a wave of rocks rolling over his body.

One thing was obvious. Clint was in a foul mood and the last thing he needed was her questioning. She doubted there ever would be a good time so Natasha opted to just leave it for later when Clint had a better handle on the withdrawals. He still had at least another day ahead and they hadn’t gotten to the worst of it. 

“Argh!” Clint ground out as another took hold of him. 

Natasha crawled onto the bed with him. She pulled him close despite him trying to shake her off. 

“Leave me alone!”

“Like that ever works,” Natasha told him. She got the cool cloth and ran it across his forehead. 

“Fuck you, Nat!” The wet towel felt good, but he wouldn’t tell her that.

“You tried once. Remember Panama? You got in a blow-out with Phil over that Op in Tangier and showed up at my hotel drunk.”

“I remember you throwing me to the floor for my effort, too.” Clint’s entire body refused to stop shaking and he was soaked from sweating so much. 

“That’s where you passed out so it ended well enough.”

Clint’s fragile state was exaggerated by his weakened condition and he was near tears. “God, I’m so sorry! Just make it stop, Nat. Please!”

“It will,” she whispered in his ear. “It will. You’ll make it. I won’t let you give up.”

“Fuck off,” Clint spat. “You could help me if you wanted.”

That was the drugs talking and Natasha was glad it was her getting it first rather than Phil. At least it wouldn’t be such a shock because now she could prepare Phil for it. 

~*~

Phil woke up in a darkened cabin. He found Matt sleeping in the twin bed in the far corner. After covering him, Phil went to the kitchen and turned on the stove light. He put a pot of coffee on and as it started, he heard Clint from the bedroom. 

After he ate a piece of fruit, Phil readied a large cup of coffee then carried to the bedroom. He found Natasha sitting in the chair and Clint was on the floor curling with a pillow. The cramps were still hitting him and hadn’t abated in the least.

She got up and went to Phil. “He’s being quite the asshole right now.”

“Got it. Thanks.”

After she left, Phil set the cup aside and leaned down. “You ready to get into bed?”

“Where the hell have you been?” Clint ground out. “I need a fucking doctor!”

“Maybe later. Come on.” 

Phil helped Clint to bed, but he refused to get under the covers. He grabbed a wet towel from the bathroom and sat on the edge of the bed. He began wiping the sweat from Clint’s chest and ignored the growing bruising that was starting to appear. He ran his hands over him and as best he could tell nothing was broken. 

“Drink some water.” Phil filled a glass and helped Clint with it. 

When Clint pushed it away when he finished, Phil set the glass aside. “Want to try and eat something? Natasha brought Moon Pies. I know how much you love those.”

“Shut up. I’m not a fucking kid!” Clint tried to push Phil away, but when a spasm hit he wound up gripping his hand. 

“You’re doing great, Clint.” Phil rubbed his back as the cramp passed. 

“Fuck you and fuck that kid of yours. Damn you, Phil.” The pain hit again and he cursed loudly not caring who heard him. 

Phil tensed up knowing that it was the drugs that were talking and not Clint. “Take it easy, Clint. Just ride it out and you’ll get through it.”

“What the fuck do you care! You won’t even get me a fucking doctor!” Another spasm, then more shaking. “Couldn’t even bother with me going to that game. Bet you and your kid had a fucking laugh over that one.”

Phil was confused. “You had plans with Nat, Clint. Remember?”

“God, are you gullible or what?” After another pain went through him, Clint finally kicked off the covers. He couldn’t take them on his skin. Clint was near tears because of the want. He rolled in closer to Phil. “Just a little, Coulson. Please, I’ll give you whatever you want. I know what you like. Please!”

Phil thought he was going to be sick. Clint was going from anger over the basketball game to prostituting himself for more drugs. His emotions were seesawing from one extreme to another. That Phil could understand, but resentment over the basketball game was out of nowhere. 

He kept holding Clint in his arms as the shaking body clung to him. 

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint's on the road to recovery, but Matt's fear continues to grow.

Natasha needed sleep and she was starting to stretch across the couch when she saw Matt waking. She pinned him down with a hard look.

“Your dad knows.”

“What?” Panic hit Matt. How did they find out?

“Clint said something about the game. I’m sure your father will be asking questions.”

“Yeah, I have to apologize for that.”

“Matt, your father loves you both. There is plenty of room in his heart for you and Clint.”

“I know.” Matt wished the conversation would end already. He couldn’t even close his eyes without seeing Clint’s suffering.

Sleep never came. He could hear Clint in the other room. He’d hear Clint’s raised voice, then a groan, and then movement. It was obvious that Clint was still struggling with trying to overcome his trauma and Matt could do nothing but listen to it.

He grabbed his phone and checked the time. It was nearly 5am. They had been here over 24 hours already. Eric had texted him about school and Matt replied that he wouldn’t be there because he was sick. Not the truth, but right now it didn’t seem to matter that much. Matt sat up and got to his feet. His Aunt Nat was already asleep and he was getting hungry.

Matt debated on a breakfast for everyone. He could do simple bacon and scrambled eggs. If there was a toaster, he could add that. It was the least he could do.

The bedroom door came open and his father motioned for him. Matt went to him.

“How is Clint?”

“I have to step out and talk to Nick, Matt. Can you sit with Clint for a few minutes?”

“Me?”

“He’ll probably just sleep.”

“Okay, Dad.”

“Good.”

Matt entered the bedroom and quietly moved to the chair in the corner. He sat and watched Clint whose eyes were closed. It was the first time he got a good look at the man. His hair was sticky and mussed. There was significant bruising around his eyes and jawline. A split lip and a scrape on his forehead were the only areas he could see where the skin had broken.

Clint’s eyes opened and seemed to pierce his soul. Matt shifted uncomfortably in the chair. “Do you want anything?”

“Unless you can score a dime bag in the middle of fucking nowhere, there’s not much you can do.”

Matt lowered his eyes unsure of what to say.

“Don’t sweat it, kid.” Clint sat up and rubbed his hands through his head. “Your old man’s already made it clear that he’ll cuff me to the bed if I so much as move an inch without him. In some cultures that’s considered marriage.”

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?” Clint held out his hands. “For this? You get a pass. Those bastards that did this to me, not so much. I’m hoping to fucking kill them pretty thoroughly when I get out of here.”

“No, I meant…” The words were quickly lost and Matt felt unsure of himself. It was his fault and he didn’t know how to say it. Cevasco’s threats were still fresh in his mind. The fear made his hands shake.

“Oh, yeah, the basketball game.” Clint nodded. “You really fucking did a great job on that one. Didn’t know you had it in you.”

“I…” Matt got to his feet. “I didn’t mean to…”

“Oh, you didn’t?” Clint raised his eyebrows, then he chuckled a little. “You didn’t mean to hijack your old man’s phone and cancel the dinner? You didn’t mean to feed me a line about a girl. Or maybe you didn’t mean to make sure your father didn’t get any of my fucking texts!”

“I just…”

When Clint stood, Matt scrambled to his feet as well. “What the hell is the matter with you, punk? You think you can just run over people like they don’t fucking matter? Did your bitch of a mother teach you that trick?”

Matt’s eyes had grown wide. With every step Clint had taken towards him, Matt had moved backwards. He was now against the wall and an overpowering Clint stood over him with violence in his eyes.

That was when Phil appeared. “What the hell?”

Matt breathed a sigh of relief when his father moved in front of Clint. “Matt, leave and close the door.”

When his son was gone, Phil pointed Clint back to the bed. “Nat and I are used to your causticness, Clint, but Matt’s not. Go sit down.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Clint went back to the bed and sat wishing he hadn’t gone off on Matt. His hands shook and the cramps still rolled through him. He had been checking the windows and doors to see if he could make it out. Would he score a hit? He didn’t know.

Phil grabbed the chair and pulled it closer to the bed before sitting. He rested his elbows on his knees and leaned forward.

“You’re up to talking. Good. Who were they?”

Clint rubbed his face. “I don’t know.”

“How many voices did you hear?”

“I don’t know,” Clint repeated.

“Guess.”

“Goddamn it, Phil! I don’t fucking know!”

“Think about it,” Phil pressed. He wasn’t going to ease up on Clint.

“Maybe three or four voices,” Clint sighed. “I think there were five or six people.”

“Names.”

“I don’t know.”

“That many and you didn’t hear a name not even once?”

“Back off!”

“Names!” Phil repeated.

“Sonny was one. Another I think was Christo. That’s all I remember.”

“It’s okay.” Phil put his hands on Clint’s knees. “Was it Cevasco?”

“I don’t know. Maybe.” Clint lowered his head and said, “I think I told them I was SHIELD.”

“Did you tell them anything else?”

Clint shook his head. The guilt was weighing heavy on him and he felt weak because of it. “They wanted to know who I was working with, but I wouldn’t tell them.”

Phil watched Clint try to control his shakes by gripping his hands together tightly. “If it’s Cevasco that did this, he hasn’t changed his shipment schedule. Nat made the last delivery without a hitch.”

“Without me there we can’t find out who’s on the inside helping Cevasco.” Clint got to his feet and paced the room. “Who knows?”

“Fury, Bruce, Nat. That’s it. This will be kept off your record.”

“Yeah, who wants a junkie SHIELD agent?”

“That’s enough,” Phil told him. “What happened is not your fault, Clint.”

“I can’t figure it, you know. If Cevasco knew I was undercover why didn’t he know about Nat? Why just me?”

“It’ll probably take some time to figure that out. We may try to send someone else inside.”

“They’ll be too suspicious. I’m surprised Nat was able to make that last delivery.”

“We’re in a holding pattern unless Cevasco makes another move. That’s all we can do right now.”

“Fury won’t pull the plug?”

“No. They want whoever is feeding Cevasco information.”

“Fuck. Everyone was positive a SHIELD agent wouldn’t be found out.” Clint snatched the water from the nightstand and took a large gulp. “He found me on my run, Phil. How in the hell did he do that?”

“If you’re thinking you screwed up, don’t,” Phil ordered Clint. “We’ll figure out what happened. Right now let’s work on you getting better. Got it?”

“Tell Matt I’m sorry. I just lost it.”

“He understands, Clint. He was worried sick about you just like I was.”

“Maybe when this is over the two of you can get some quality time together.”

“The three of us,” Phil insisted. “You’re a part of this family, too.”

Right now Clint didn’t feel much of a part of anything. His hands still shook, the cramps came on like gangbusters and he was exhausted. He went back to the bed and sat.

“Do you want to try to eat something?”

“I probably won’t keep it down.”

“Get cleaned up. It’s still early, but it might go a long way in helping you feel human.”

“I need a nap first. I’m bushed.”

“Go ahead. I’ll tell Matt to hold off breakfast until you’re up.”

“Thanks.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No one is prepared for the truth of Matt's involvement in Clint's kidnapping.

Clint got under the hot water and he groaned in relief at the feeling of droplets massaging his sore body. He figured at least another week of recovery would take away the aches and pains. When Clint finished, he stepped out and as he dried Phil opened the door to the bathroom. 

“You have a fresh change of clothes on the bed.”

“Thanks.”

When he felt a shake, Clint looked at his hand and watched how unsteady he was. The craving for more of the drug ran through his entire body and he wondered if the day would ever come when he wouldn’t want it. Clint was starting to realize how much his life had changed as a result. 

“You’ll make it,” Phil told him. “I promise.”

“I believe you.”

Despite his nakedness, Phil pulled Clint into his arms. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” Clint closed his eyes and relaxed. “I missed this.”

“Me, too.”

“Promise me something.”

“Anything.”

“Don’t let me out of your sight for the next month. Not sure when I’ll trust myself again.”

“I’m not worried,” Phil assured him. “But that’s not why I won’t let you out of my sight.”

Clint smiled a little and stepped back. “Thanks. What time is it?”

“Almost ten. Matt’s finishing up breakfast. Think you can eat?”

“I’ll try.”

Clint dressed and when he left the bedroom he saw Natasha setting the kitchen table. 

“Hey, stranger,” she said with a smile. “You almost look like a guy I know.”

“Thanks.” Clint appreciated her humor and made him feel nearly normal. He saw Matt in the kitchen finishing with the eggs. “Glad you’re here, Matt.”

“Thanks,” Matt kept his eyes down as he loaded the serving plate with the last of the eggs. 

Coffee, toast and bacon were added to the meal and all four sat down to eat. Clint opted for apple juice rather than coffee. He was more than ready to try to get his body back to normal even if his psyche had taken a bloody beating. 

The meal had passed quietly with few words spoken. Clint’s hands still shook from the withdrawal, but he managed to eat some eggs and toast. When it appeared that he could keep the meal down, he sipped the apple juice. 

Natasha stood and stretched. “I’m taking a hike. There’s a mile long trail not far. Anyone want to come along?”

“Go ahead, Nat. We have some talking to do here,” Phil told her. 

After she was gone, Clint stole a quick look at Matt. The boy appeared more sullen than ever and he wished he had words to help him, but he couldn’t even bring himself to speak. 

“Matt,” Phil said. “We need to talk about the basketball game.”

“Phil,” Clint said. “We don’t need to do this now.”

“I think we do. You said some things and I think there was a reason for it.” Phil turned his attention back to Matt. “Matt?”

Matt looked from Clint to his father. “I just…”

“You said you wanted to surprise Clint about the game.”

“You said that?” Clint asked. 

“You didn’t know?” Phil leaned forward at Clint’s announcement. He looked at Matt. “Start talking. Now.”

“I wanted it to be just you and me, Dad. I’m sorry,” Matt said in a low voice. He lowered his head wishing that he could run away and hide.

“Tell him the rest of it, Matt,” Clint advised. 

“There’s more?”

“I..uh…I texted Clint from your phone that we weren’t going out to eat, then I blocked his number so you wouldn’t know.”

“Why on Earth would you do this?” Phil couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “It was supposed to be the three of us.”

“I wanted it to be just you and me, Dad. I’m sorry!”

“It was more than that,” Clint told him. “Wasn’t it? You didn’t want me there. Period.”

When Matt remained silent, Phil ordered, “Answer him!”

The tears fell from Matt’s eyes and he kept his eyes down. His guilt hurt in his chest and the cry was close to escaping. He wanted to turn back the clock, take everything back and pretend none of this had ever happened. 

“If he wasn’t here maybe Mom would come back,” Matt whispered. “I wanted Mom. Not him.”

The words were hurtful and Phil had nothing to take away the pain that Matt was obviously feeling. 

“You blame Clint for what happened between your mother and me,” Phil said. “I told you long ago he had nothing to do with that, Matt. We talked about what happened. I thought you understood.”

“I’m sorry,” Matt cried a little and wiped his wet eyes. He looked up at Clint. “I just wanted you gone. I didn’t mean any of this to happen!”

“What?” Clint straightened and leaned forward. “What do you mean by that?”

“I…” The tears wouldn’t stop now and Matt got to his feet. He went to the living room and was halted by his father pulling him around. 

“What else, Matt?” Phil demanded. “Tell us everything!”

Clint followed them and watched dumbly as Matt wiped his eyes. “Did you have something to do with my kidnapping?”

“I didn’t know!” Matt cried out. “I thought they were just going to send you away!”

“You better start from the beginning, Matthew!” Phil loudly ordered. 

“I took the number from Clint’s phone and called the guy you were talking about in the kitchen the other morning. Then I went to see him.”

“You saw Cevasco?” The wind left Clint’s lungs as the reality of it all came crashing around him. He moved to the wall and leaned into it. “You told him where to find me.”

“I didn’t mean…”

A loud slap echoed and Clint turned. Phil had hit Matt. The boy held his wet cheek. 

“They kidnapped him and tortured him for days and you didn’t say a word!” Phil was barely containing his rage. He stepped back unable to trust himself. “They were going to murder him, Matthew!”

“I’m sorry!”

“Answer me this,” Clint said as he moved closer to Matt. “Did you tell him about Nat?”

“No, I swear, I didn’t. Just you.”

“What did you think was going to happen?” Clint asked. His hands were shaking and not because of the withdrawal. “Did you think he was going to invite me for coffee and give me a plane ticket out of town?”

“When I got there, I got scared and they wouldn’t let me leave. They said they’d hurt my family if I didn’t tell them!”

“They knew what they had the second you walked through the door.” Phil rubbed his face still scarcely able to believe what his own son had done. He still didn’t trust himself to get close to him without committing physical violence. His gaze turned to Clint. “We can’t go home. Cevasco may know everything about us.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The fallout from Matt's actions have only just begun.

“As soon as Nat gets here we’re leaving,” Clint told him. “The safe house in Newark.”

The door swung open and Natasha closed it behind her. “We’ve got a problem.”

“What?” Phil asked. 

“Three black sedans headed this way. We’ve got maybe five minutes,” she answered.

Clint went to Matt. “Did you tell them about this cabin?”

He shook his head. “No, I didn’t.”

“Don’t lie! We have to know who is coming!”

“I swear, I didn’t tell them, Clint. I didn’t even know we were coming here when I saw him.”

“What’s going on?” Natasha asked. 

“We’ll explain later,” Phil told her. “Right now we have to find a way out of here.”

“It’s the only road leaving the cabin,” she told him. 

“Did you give them your phone?” Clint asked Matt.

“Yes.”

“Let me have it.”

Matt did as he was ordered and Clint tossed it to Natasha. She immediately went to her purse and attached a device to it. It took less than a minute. 

“It’s been cloned. They’d be able to track the signal.”

“Who did you call?” Phil asked him. “Right now, Matt! Who did you call?”

“No one!” Matt promised. “I texted Eric I wouldn’t be at school. That’s all.”

“That’s all they’d need to find us,” Natasha stated. The picture was now becoming clear. She didn’t have time to get pissed. “It’s a safe bet they’re coming to kill Clint.”

“I barely saw any faces,” Clint told her. “Nothing I said would be reliable with heroin running through my system.”

“Not unless they’re after Matt,” Phil said. He looked at his son. “Who else did you see?”

“It was Cevasco, three big guys and someone else. He’s the one who had my phone.”

Phil looked from Natasha to Clint. “Matt can ID the inside man.”

“What?” Matt started to panic. “They want to kill me, too?”

Without blinking an eye, Clint’s hard eyes locked Matt in place. “You were dead the second you walked into that bar.”

“Come on.” Phil grabbed onto Matt and pulled him into a corner of the room. He sat him down. “You are to stay put. You hear me? Do not move.”

Natasha hung up her phone. “Fury’s people will be here in about 20 minutes, 30 minutes tops.”

“It’s not enough time.” Phil pushed the couch back and knelt. He pulled on the hook sticking out of the floor and a secret panel slid open. Various weapons sat inside and the three began to ready themselves for the assault that was about to happen. 

As Clint and Natasha prepared the cabin, Phil pushed the sofa to the door blocking it. He crossed the room to the small twin and pulled the mattress. He used it to act as a protector around Matt. 

Natasha ran to the window and saw the sedans. “They’re coming!”

Clint had two Glocks in waist of his jeans and an automatic weapon. He went to the window not far from Nat. The car doors were opened and he stopped counting at ten hired muscle. “Shit.”

He went back to the secret cache of weapons. “I need to get up high.”

“Clint, we need all the guns we can get here on the ground,” Phil told him. 

“I can’t see them coming from down here.”

“You’ll be vulnerable on the roof.”

“I’ll take out as many as I can here, but I’m going on that roof, Phil. It’s our only chance at taking out as many as we can. They’ve got the advantage. We don’t.”

Phil nodded and the three got to the windows. The first of the gunfire took out Phil’s car until it was useless. A few seconds later bullets began flying through the house shattering windows, splintering wood and impacting into the walls. 

When Phil saw several bullets hit the mattress that Matt was buried under, he rushed over and grabbed him by the shirt. Phil literally shoved him under the bed and then his right arm was hit. He hit the floor.

“Dad!” Matt screamed. 

Phil got back up and headed to the window. When he saw Clint’s face, he yelled, “I’m fine.”

Despite his bleeding arm, Phil was able to keep firing. “Nat, I’m almost out of ammo!”

Natasha got more and tossed it to him then resumed her spot. They had managed to wound some and kill at least three. Their enemy had the cover of autos which would hold up with no problem. 

Clint knew their best chance of survival was him on the roof. He was the best even if he was still in withdrawal. Before Phil could stop him, Clint went to the back window and made his way out. He used the tree near the house to get on the roof. 

They’d spot him once he’d make his first kill. That much Clint knew. He would have to fire repeatedly and not miss plus keep them from targeting him. Broad daylight was definitely not his favorite time of day right now. 

Clint took out two, but the third he had only managed to wound. They had him targeted and he had to move back. It took everything he had to keep from falling off the roof. He still felt weak and his eyesight was hazy when he looked through the scope. 

It was when Clint spotted two headed around to the back of the cabin that he knew he had to make a move. He scooted around on the roof and when they were at a window, he allowed his body to slide until he landed on top of the goons. 

He struggled to fight them off and was relieved when Natasha dived in to help. She dispatched them easily and he followed her back in the house. 

“How many do we have left?” Clint asked. 

“Six that I can see,” Phil answered. “They sent fifteen.”

“That many?” Clint fired at one hiding behind a car door. “I stopped counting at ten.”

“Fury should be here any minute,” Natasha told them. 

Phil looked at Clint. “I don’t know how much longer we can hold out.”

“We will,” Natasha swore. 

“Yeah,” Clint agreed. 

The gunfire exchange only lasted a few minutes when a helicopter flew low overhead. Sirens were in the distance and were getting closer. When the remaining attackers dropped their weapons, Clint, Natasha and Phil collapsed to the floor in relief. 


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt's actions continue to take a horrendous toll and the family is torn apart as a result.

Half an hour later Phil’s arm was getting bandaged, Natasha was speaking with Fury and Clint was checking his hand for steadiness. The shaking was nearly gone and despite his exhaustion he almost felt normal. Clint figured a hot meal and another 8 hours of sleep was called for. He looked up as Nick went to Phil.

Clint saw Matt sitting at the kitchen table with downcast eyes, hunched over shoulders and not answering the officer questioning him. There was so much more going on than a kid who hated him. After everything that had happened there was no clear vision of the future.

“Are you sure?” Fury asked Phil.

Clint watched Phil nod and then Fury motioned for one of the officers. After a whispered word, Clint stood as the officer went to Matt. He stood him up, handcuffed him and then led him away. He couldn’t believe what he was seeing. When he looked at Phil, his expression was unreadable. Natasha came to Clint and put her hand on his arm.

Clint went outside and watched as Matt was put in back of the patrol car and taken away. When he turned Phil was walking around the corner of the house. He followed and stopped when Phil leaned his head against the cedar cabin.

When he saw the man he had loved for so many years break down and openly sob, Clint’s gut tore at the sight. Never in his life had he ever seen Phillip J. Coulson release so much anguish and pain. Natasha came up behind him and they both went to Phil and pulled him into their arms as he cried.

~*~

Since SHIELD was working closely with local officials, Cevasco and his people were taken into police custody and booked into a city jail. Matt was brought into the same precinct and he was detained in an interrogation room still handcuffed.

Phil, Clint and Natasha were led to the room next to it where they could observe through a two-way mirror. Fury stood near the front.

“I’m sorry, Phil.”

Phil moved closer to get a better look at Matt who was speaking with an investigator. “Is he talking?”

“They were going to wait until you got here since he’s still a minor,” Nick answered. “He insisted on spilling his guts immediately.”

“Did he ID the mole?” Clint asked.

“Yep. Special NSA liaison. Apparently, their cousins are paisans or some shit from the old neighborhood. He used his pull in the agency to hide his connection to Cevasco and had quite the nest egg.”

“And the weapons?” Natasha inquired.

“Confiscated. They never made it out of the country.”

“Good,” Phil said. “This operation is over.”

“Phil,” Nick said. “Your kid identifying Cevasco’s man folded that organization.”

Rather than answer, Phil started to leave.

“Are you going to talk to Matt?” Natasha asked.

“No, I’m getting him a lawyer.”

~*~

It was as if a wall had been dropped like a bomb between Phil and Clint. Matt’s actions had such a traumatic impact that each one was wrapped up in their own ordeal. They had gone home and while Phil was in the shower, Clint sat on the couch staring at the bookshelf. Family photos from the last two years filled his vision.

When Phil emerged from the bathroom Clint tried to talk to him, but all he got was a shake of the head and a firm refusal to even discuss the situation.

Phil was struggling with the actions of his son and he couldn’t even grasp the lengths Matt had gone to upend Clint from their lives. He couldn’t even put into words the raging emotions that were slowly eating away at him.

It was two days later when they were summoned to court where Matt would be handed his punishment. The lawyer had explained that Matt was accepting full responsibility for his actions and would take whatever the court deemed. Clint was relieved that Natasha had joined them. He was tired of the silence with Phil already.

Clint watched Matt brought into the courtroom and noted how small he looked with the adults surrounding him. Even with his back to him, Clint could feel the fear emanating from Matt. He glanced at Phil whose face remained tight and hard.

It was settled. Matthew Thomas Coulson would be remanded to a juvenile detention facility until he was 18 years old. Then he would be put on an adult probation program for another 5 years. In addition to his full cooperation with authorities, his record would be expunged at the end of that time. Clint knew the boy was lucky to have not been tried as an adult. These days it was getting all too common.

The judge slammed the gavel and court was dismissed. They stood and then Clint watched the handcuffs once again applied to Matt. Then the most gut wrenching thing he had ever witnessed in his life happened. It was bad enough that Natasha had grasped onto his arm.

Matt turned to see his father in the courtroom. “Dad?”

Phil’s eyes lowered and after taking a deep breath, he turned around and began to leave the courtroom.

“Dad! Please, Dad!” Matt cried. “Don’t leave me, Dad!”

The officers pulled Matt away as he cried for his father who kept going. All that could be heard was Matt’s cries as he was taken away even after Phil was gone.

Clint looked at Natasha. “Talk to them. See if they’ll let you see him.”

“I’ve got this,” Natasha assured him. “Go.”

~*~

Clint never caught up to Phil. He had gotten a taxi home and when he got there he found Phil nursing a scotch. He slipped off his jacket and dropped on the chair.

“You okay?”

“Remember when Matt had pneumonia when he was a year old?”

“I think you said something about it.” Clint got himself a glass and poured some scotch.

“He almost died. They had him on a ventilator.”

“I didn’t know that.”

“His body was so frail and I was too afraid to touch him.” Phil drank down the rest of the liquid relishing the burning path down his throat. “I got a little angry at him. It was silly. He was just a baby, but he had so much power over me and I wasn’t used to that. Then I didn’t mind it. He had my heart, Clint.”

“Did you try calling his mother?”

“Yes.” Phil had spent the night before tracking her down. “She’s in Southeast Asia on a cruise. She won’t come.”

“What are you going to do?”

“There’s nothing I can do for him anymore.” Phil set the glass down. “Matt can’t take back what he did.”

“Don’t you think you should do something?”

“What? What am I supposed to do, Clint? Matt made sure I’m even more fucking powerless than when he was an innocent baby who had no control over anything!”

“You can’t just leave him like this, Phil.”

“I think he’s getting what he needs. He sure doesn’t need me anymore.”

“Goddamn it, Phil, that boy has never had what he needs.”

“Really?” Phil went to Clint ready for a fight. “We gave him everything, Clint! A nice home, good school, clothes. Hell, I was going to buy him a goddamn car no matter what you said!”

“You think that’s what makes a good home, Phil?” Clint yelled back. “And let’s not forget that you were not interested in a fucking thing I said either!”

“What are you talking about?”

“Since day one when you and I walked into this relationship it was always about easing me in because you didn’t want to upset Matt. I fucking went along with it. I’m as much to blame as anyone else. Not once was it made clear to Matt where I stood in your life, Phil!”

“Matt’s always known how I feel about you!”

“Really?” Clint put his hands on his hips. “I wanted us to get married, Phil, and you said no!”

“No! I said we needed to wait!”

“Because of Matt! I’m not saying we shouldn’t have taken his feelings into consideration, but our happiness is just as important!”

“You’re trying to blame this on me! That I’m somehow responsible for what he did to you!”

Clint shook his head. “No, it’s all our faults, Phil. It’s just as much ours as it is his. It’s also that fucking mother of his that doesn’t care enough to know her son is in trouble.”

“Well,” Phil said raising his hands. “There’s nothing we can do about it now. It’s over and Matt’s in jail.” Phil grabbed the glass intent on adding more alcohol to it.

“Are you walking away from him?” Clint had to be wrong.

“My son went to an arms dealer, handed you over to them and they proceeded to torture you, addict you to heroin and went about his fucking merry way the entire goddamn time they had you, Clint! What the hell do you expect me to do?” Phil screamed as he flung the glass across the room.

It hit the wall and shattered into a million pieces.

“Phil.” Clint paused trying to steady his breath. “You have to go see him. If you don’t you’ll lose him. You will never get him back.”

Tears fell from Phil’s eyes as he thought about the child he loved. He remembered taking him to his first circus, the birthday parties, teaching him how to ride a bike. It broke his heart to think about the innocent child now lost to him. “I already lost him, Clint. The day he walked into that bar he was gone.”

“No, Phil. God, no. He’s still there waiting for you.”

“I wish he was.”

“You came for me. Remember? I was a fucking kid who didn’t give a damn whether I was behind bars or six feet under. I nearly took a knife to you. You saved me.” It was the first time he had ever experienced hope in his entire life.

“It’s not the same.” Phil upended the scotch and took a large drink.

“It’s exactly the same.” Clint turned and went to the window. He hoped Nat had gotten in to see Matt. “You have to go to him. He needs to know there is hope for him.”

“I can’t because there isn’t for any of us.” Phil got up and grabbed his jacket. He needed to leave.

Before he reached the door, Clint turned. “If you don’t go see him, we’re done, Phil. I’ll leave you.”

“An ultimatum? That’s not like you.”

“No, that’s not what it is. I know you. This thing will eat at you and will destroy what we have together. I’m won’t stay and watch it happen.”

Clint watched Phil walk out the door and he went to the hall closet for the vacuum. He wished their lives were as easy to clean up.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint, Phil and Matt continue to struggle in the aftermath.

Natasha was a regular at the house and she opened the door as if she lived there. After dropping her purse in the chair, she went to the kitchen and found Clint putting a brownie pan in the oven. It was obvious he had spent the last several hours baking as her eyes moved over the mess. 

“How many batches this time?”

“Uh, six I think.”

“Was that number seven you put in the oven just now?”

“Yeah.”

Natasha picked up an empty red velvet cake box and then looked at one of the pans. “What is this?”

“Oh, that’s walnut red velvet cheesecake brownies.”

“There’s such a thing?”

“There is now.” Clint went back to mixing the batter of his next brownie mix.

“Where’s Phil?”

“I don’t know. Fury’s maybe. He left yesterday and hasn’t been back.”

“It must’ve been a hell of a fight with the amount of baking you’re doing.”

Clint lowered his eyes and added an egg to the batter. “He thinks there’s no hope for Matt. I can’t convince him otherwise. This thing did something to him, Nat. It ripped something out of his soul and I don’t know how to put it back.”

“It’s a lot to take in when it’s your kid.” Natasha tore a piece off the strange brownie concoction and bit. She put the remainder of it on a towel unsure if she liked it. “I don’t think Matt believes there’s any hope for him either. He’s not doing well, Clint.”

“Fuck.” Clint grabbed a towel and leaned against the counter. “I was afraid of that.”

“I’m willing to spring for a good shrink for the kid, but he’s not going to listen to anyone unless he thinks he’s worth it.”

“When will they let us see him?”

“I got you and Phil both time with him tomorrow morning for an hour. They’re willing to make whatever arrangements necessary to help him.”

“I doubt Phil will be there, but I’ll go.”

“It’ll help, Clint. Maybe if he knows from you that you don’t blame him…”

“Now, wait a sec, Nat. I do blame him for his share of what happened. All I ask is that he takes responsibility for it. The rest will work itself out.”

She nodded satisfied. Natasha glanced back down at the weird brownie desert. “Can I have that?”

“Sure.”

~*~

Nothing could have woken Phil faster than a splash of cold water hitting him in the face. He jerked up off Nick’s couch and watched his boss set the glass aside. 

“What the hell?”

“You’re making me look bad, Cheese. I can’t even bring a woman over with you making my house into a homeless shelter when you have a home to go to.”

“I’m up.” Phil straightened and wiped the wetness from his face with his worn-out tie. 

“You’ll be pleased to know that three of Cevasco’s people are turning states’ evidence. He won’t be seeing the outside…well, probably never given the bodies that are being dug up.”

“Good.” Phil got to his feet and headed to the bathroom. He washed his face and then studied the bags under his eyes. “I look like hell.”

Fury leaned against the door frame. “You’ve got a 9am appointment.” 

“I’m off for two weeks. Remember?”

“This one is the detention facility, Phil.”

Phil shook his head. “I can’t go.”

“You know, if you were anyone else I would think it was because you didn’t give a shit about your kid, but knowing you as well as I do I’d say it’s guilt.”

“What?”

“That guilt shit is only burying you, Coulson. Get over it and go see your kid.”

“I told Clint it was because I didn’t think there was hope for any of us, Nick. We’ve hurt each other too much.”

Phil went to Fury’s kitchen and without asking poured himself a cup of coffee. He saw a brownie pan. “What the hell is that?”

“Some red velvet shit. Don’t change the subject.”

“I failed my son, Nick. I failed Clint, too.”

“A word of advice from one old friend to another.”

“What?”

“So fucking what. You failed him. You’re not the first and you won’t be the last, but you will be one sorry bastard if you don’t go down there.”

“Nick…” Phil began.

“Shut the fuck up, Coulson!” Nick was ready to cap him. “You have 30 seconds to get your ass out of my place. Go home, clean up and save your kid. That’s an order, agent.”

When he hesitated, Nick went to Phil and put his hands on his arms. “This is your family, Phil. If it’s not worth holding together, why even give a shit about anything?”

“You’re right. This is my family.” Phil gave Fury a pat on the shoulder before leaving. 

Nick picked up his cell and made a call. “He’s on his way.”

~*~

Clint was directed to the outdoor picnic table where Matt was sitting. He gripped the container with both hands as he moved towards him. This was going to be an awkward meeting, but a necessary one. Until Phil came around, this kid only had him and Nat. 

“Hi,” Matt said. “I never thought you’d come.”

Clint set the container down. “It’s brownies. I’ve got 8 more batches at the house so…”

Matt stared at the container. “The last time you did that was when you had that fight with Dad about the garden last summer.”

“I only made two batches of cookies.”

“This was bad, wasn’t it?”

“Yeah,” Clint admitted. “Your dad’s having a rough time, Matt. Just be patient with him.”

“I deserve it, you know.” Matt raised his eyes and looked at Clint. “I’m a criminal. I got you tortured and almost killed everyone! Oh, God, Clint. I deserve to rot in prison until I die!”

“No, you don’t!” Clint moved around and sat close to Matt. He pulled him into his arms. “No, you don’t. Never think that. You screwed up and now you’re facing up to that.”

Matt cried in his arms. “I’m so sorry!”

“It’ll be okay,” Clint whispered to him. He forced Matt to look at him in the eyes. “You listen to me right now, Matt. As far as I’m concerned you’re sorry and I’ve forgiven you. Do you hear me, Matt? I forgive you. What happened doesn’t change how I feel about you.”

“You’re supposed to hate me.”

“I can’t because I love your Dad and you’re a part of him. I could never hate you, Matt. I love you. Do you understand? I love you.”

Matt went into Clint’s arms again crying in relief that he still had someone who cared for him this much. Getting Clint’s forgiveness was the world. 

“Thanks.” Matt wiped the tears away. “I love you, too.”

There was a shadow that got their attention and when they turned their heads they were shocked to see Phil standing a short distance away. 

“I’m sorry I’m late,” Phil said. “I hadn’t bathed or shaved in a few days. The traffic here was…”

Matt jumped from his seat and ran to his father. He cried into his arms. “I’m sorry, Dad!”

“I’m sorry, too, son.” Phil pulled him to the table. “Come on.”

The three sat at the table together and as Phil started talking he looked at Clint when he felt his hand on his knee. Everything would be okay as long as they were together. 

END


	13. EPILOGUE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here is the happy ending.

EPILOGUE

It took less than six months for Matt to be released to his family with good behavior. He had been given an electronic monitor, but nothing was going to ruin the moment of the special day that had been in the works for months.

In the backyard on a sunny day with family and friends Clint and Phil exchanged vows with Matt proudly looking on. They slid the rings on each other’s fingers and then kissed signaling the promise of their union together. Phil motioned for Matt to join them.

The justice of the peace made the happy announcement to family and friends.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, I am happy to present for the first time the Coulson/Barton family and their son, Matthew.”


End file.
